All too often when we get married, we tend to think we’re marrying someone like our best girlfriend. When in actuality – we’re marrying someone from another planet.
Sit back for a moment and imagine you are traveling to a foreign country. You’ve been given a job assignment to live for a period of time in a home where your host speaks another language.
When you first arrive, you might begin pointing and making hand motions as a way to communicate. But if you continue this for long, you’ll soon feel isolated because you’ll never know what the other people you’re living with are thinking and feeling. You can recognize a smile or a frown, but your relationship can never be meaningful and satisfying until you learn their language.
This is true of our marriages. We leave our home and families where we’ve been comfortable in our native tongue. We enter into a new country and culture when we marry. We’ve had a lovely visit with this man who is our husband and he’s made every effort to speak our language while we dated but once we’re married, we’re expected to learn his language. We can speak woman perfectly well, but if we want an exciting, vibrant relationship with our husbands we’ve got to learn to speak his native tongue.
God designed men and women physiologically differently. According to James Dobson in Bringing up Boys, hormones are an integral part.
With women, estrogen is released. We’re relational beings. We love to talk, spend quality time, hug, and kiss. We’re typically nurturers, caregivers and keepers of the home.
Men are testosterone driven. They are typically risk-takers, hunters, builders, providers. With this rush of testosterone, God designed our husbands with a need for a release. Dare I say, on a regular basis.
Like it or not, this is their native language. If we want to live together in harmony, it is a MUST that we understand what is of utmost importance to them. Therefore it needs to become important to us. Sex is physiologically driven. It affects their behavior, the way the think, the way they react, the way they process conversation even their decision making…
Sweet friend, they are not our best girlfriend. They are our husbands. People, from Venus –