I can think of no other word in the English language that makes a woman cringe more than the word, submission. And trust me, I was one of them. However, one of the things I’ve learned is that submission is a very misunderstood concept. And as I have come to know the character of God – He would NEVER throw women under the bus – let me explain.
I first started attending Bible study in 1994. My mother prayed for years that I’d develop a hunger for Jesus and I finally said yes to going. Just a few short months prior my wedding date, I came home and told my mom that “this Jesus stuff wasn’t too bad.” But then I defiantly told her, “but if they think I’m going to submit to Tim – they’re crazy!” (I had no idea who ‘they’ were! I guess I thought God was the Bible study teachers.)
But then disaster, depression and discouragement descended in 2003. And I was desperate for God to intervene. My husband was apathetic towards my Jesus. And he was remote and emotionally distant from me. (Who could blame him?)
Around this time I was learning “die to self”, (last week’s post). I also started learning something else of enormous magnitude: to stop trying to change my husband. To pray for him and let the Lord change him.
The power for change was found in submission. Listen to Peter’s words on the subject:
If you want to go to the beach on vacation and your husband wants to go to the mountains. Tell him why you want to go the beach. Tell him all your thoughts about it – don’t hold back. However, after listening to you, if he still insists on the mountains – the mountains it is.
God is a God of order. He has an order for the seasons, for the government and even for the family. His order for the family is for the husband to be the head of the home. A wise woman once told me that “two heads will make a monster!” Oh, how right she was.
I used to think submission was for the weak – oh, was I wrong! Submission is not being a doormat. Submission is not subservience. Submission is not your husband taking advantage of you.
Submission is God’s pattern for drawing your husband’s heart to Himself. And then to you and to the family. Submission is for the woman who is strong – not weak. It’s power under the control of the Holy Spirit.
Question: If you were to ask your husband who the head of your home is – what would his answer be?
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Amen….and this is not a one time fix, it is a work in progress and a continual thing. We can't just submit once and be done with it. Like a marriage, it takes effort and willingness to be obedient in submission. Thank you Tara, for your amazing gift of words which I am confident, pleases the Lord!
Love,
Caroline
Thank you for sharing your gift with us, sweet Tara. Sixty days before my wedding makes all of this a perfect reminder and such a blessing. What I also love is that through your words I see how much I've grown, but also how much more I have to learn… Love you.