For if you forgive other people
when they sin against you,
your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
Matthew 6:14 (NIV)

I’m always blown away with how Jesus describes forgiveness. To be forgiven by Him, we must forgive others who hurt or offend us.

This principle is re-enforced in the Lord’s Prayer: “…and forgive us of our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Matthew 6:12

When Peter asked Jesus how many times he had to forgive, Jesus said, “Not seven times but seventy-seven times. Matthew 18:21

Scripture is clear, God commands forgiveness.

But it’s often quite hard. There are times we do not feel like forgiving. It’s easier to stew over the offense and devise a way to take revenge. (That’s a totally different subject!)

There are serious consequences to unforgiveness. Our hearts become bitter.  We breach our relationship with God and Satan gains a dangerous foothold. It’s toxic to our well-being.

Something we need to keep in mind is that forgiveness is between God and me – not the other person and me.

When we choose to forgive someone who has offended or hurt us, we are obeying God and it ensures that we are right with Him.

There are several things forgiveness is not:

1. Forgiveness is not pretending we were not hurt.
2. Forgiveness is not is not based on a feeling or an emotion. It’s a choice. A decision. An act of the will.
3. Forgiveness is not saying what the other person did wasn’t wrong.
4. Forgiveness is not relieving the offender of responsibility.
5. Forgiveness is not a one-time decision. Just like wounds are bumped, we often have to forgive again and again.

Something that has helped me in the forgiveness process is remembering that when I choose to forgive, it releases God to work in the other person’s heart. God is the only one who can change a person’s heart. He is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine. Ephesians 3:20

Author, Sylvia Gunter in her book, Prayer Portions shares how you can know you have forgiven: “It’s when you hear the offender’s name, and your blood pressure does not rise. You desire to affirm love to the person, communicate forgiveness, make restitution, and be reconciled.”

This is how you know you’ve forgiven from the heart.

Next post: Harboring Anger and Bitterness.

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