Uncomfortable Conversations: When and How to Speak Up

by | Apr 11, 2019 | Lifestyle

1 Corinthians 3:6,
“I planted the seed, Apollos watered it,
but God made it grow.”

As I shared last week, sometimes God draws us into uncomfortable conversations with family or friends.  I believe He does this so that we can be the light of Christ and His message to those around us.

Jesus was willing to talk about divisive topics when someone was genuinely searching. The exchange with Nicodemus (John 2) and His discussion with the rich man in Mark 10:17-31 are two beautiful examples among many.

The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 3:7, “There’s a time to be silent and a time to speak.”

But how do we know the difference? How do we know when to speak up or when to just be silent when confronted with an opportunity to discuss current events tied to gospel issues?

I believe we have to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit within us.

We must determine if the other person truly wants to engage in meaningful conversation. Or whether they only want to debate and argue a point for the sake of arguing.

This situation happened to me with an extended family member a few years ago. My good intentions quickly turned into a heated debate with others listening and taking notice. As the discussion progressed, this person’s heart became harder at every turn. Soon, it became about winning the point.

As I look back, sadly, I didn’t handle the exchange very well. Like my family member, I too wanted to win because I knew I was right! I had the Bible on my side. But my approach was not winsome to anyone watching.

A second opportunity with this same family member arose some years later after the initial exchange. This time, led by the Spirit, without being rude, I remained silent and unwilling to engage in debate.

So you can imagine my surprise recently when I had yet a third opportunity with this same family member! This time I engaged.   We ended up having a civil and meaningful conversation. His heart still wasn’t won to the gospel, but I know eternal seeds were planted.

1 Peter 3:15 says, “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.”

There’s a time to be silent and a time to speak. May we know the difference and always be prepared to give an answer with gentleness and respect.

When we have these uncomfortable conversations God’s way, we’re planting eternal seeds into the hearts of those we’re engaging.  Lose the right to be right and allow God to send another to water the seed He’s allowed you to plant. Then trust Him to make it grow!


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