8 Insights into the Mind of your Husband

by | Oct 10, 2017 | Marriage

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Genesis 2:24, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and will be united to his wife and they will become one flesh.

Our Luncheon last Friday was rich with insight into the way a man thinks.  Literally, had our time not been cut short, we could have gleaned for at least another hour.    A big thank you to John Mark Harrison and Barry Carroll!   They shared from the heart and had the courage to speak into areas of great vulnerability.  We are grateful for your advice and the wiser for it. 

Here are a few highlights:

  1. The best time to talk to your guy: 
  • The word count thing is a reality!  (Men speak 7000 words a/day.  Women speak 20,000) The time to talk to him is not when he’s walking in the house from work.  Choose a time when he’s decompressed from stress at work.
  • Be aware that men actually have a “nothing box.”  If you look at him and he’s dazing off into space and you ask him, “what are you thinking about,” and he says nothing, he means it.   He’s thinking about nothing.  It’s the nothing box!

2.  When your husband is an unbeliever, the best thing to do:

  • Without question, the most effective thing to do is to pray.  Pray for him.  Do not give up.
  • Love him and respect him with your words and behavior.

3.  Sex

  • It’s important to a man.  When a woman deprives her husband, it communicates disrespect or that she does not love him.
  • We are spirit beings created for intimacy with God.  It’s a mistake to expect your spouse to fill an intimacy need that only your Creator is capable of filling.
  • Make sure you’re not depriving your relationship with God.  Your husband will never fill you the way a relationship with God with fill you. 
  • Spend time with Jesus in the Word.

4.  Men do not like:

  • Being on the receiving end of a critical spirit.  Being critical is a respect killer.
  • Instead of being critical, think of three things he’s done right and that you’re grateful.  Think on those things.  Thank God for those things.
  • Blanket statements.  Such as, “You always…”  Do not do this.  It’s very disrespectful  Men hate it.
  • Being corrected in public by their wives.  This is very disrespectful.

5.  Men like it when:

  • You have an interest in their interests – such as golf or football, etc. 
  • When you compliment him.
  • When you encourage them in what they’re doing well – instead of what they’re not doing well.  You don’t have to tell a man what he’s not doing well.  He already knows it.  A man can be his own worst enemy.

6.  Comments that surprised me the most:

  • Most men carry the weight of providing for their family.  They worry about their jobs and being able to provide.
  • Sometimes they wake up in the middle of the night in fear.
  • There’s an unspoken pressure placed on men by society that translates into, “I’ve got to provide; I’ve got to be confident, successful and competitive.”
  • Men have a very real fear of failure.

7.  One of the greatest things a wife can do:

  • BE SUPPORTIVE and encouraging. 
  • Love him.
  • Tell him thank you often.
  • Tell him you love being married to him.

8.  Final words of wisdom:

  • “Tell him you believe in him.  It’s important for a man to know his wife believes in him.”
  • “I love and adore my wife.  I’d do anything for her.  Why?  Because of the way she treats me.”

Words to the wise…


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