Bitterness Turned to Betterness

by | Aug 28, 2018 | Lifestyle, Marriage

 

Bethany Walker

Psalm 40:1
“I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry.”

My husband and I recently celebrated 18 years of marriage. We had originally planned a weekend get away, but as our anniversary date drew near, we realized our busy calendars would most likely reduce our much anticipated get-away to only an anniversary dinner.

Life happens. Four children, commitments, and finances sometimes have a way of interrupting well intended plans.

Saddened and disappointed I shared with God my frustration. 

After a moment, He reminded me of a time a few years back when tears blurred my vision and I had no words to speak.

It was seven years ago that I cried out to God in pure brokenness. My husband had confessed to me infidelity and a web of lies. His betrayal and deceit sent a wave of anger and bitterness over me. I questioned everything I had ever known, loved, and believed in our marriage. I soon became bitter and confused.

Why if I had been faithful, did this happen? Why am I a victim and hurting so deeply?

The process of healing that followed was brutal, like the pain of peeling away a band-aid slowly as it rips the tiny hairs that lay underneath.

There comes a point in everyone’s life where you stand at a crossroads and you have to make a choice whether to remain bitter or become better. By choosing bitterness, though it may feel validated, you are allowing it to take over your life. Bitterness consumes, eating away and pushing you into a deeper darkness. It rages like a hurricane, and damages other relationships and even your physical body. Spiritually you become numb. Bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for the one who hurt you to die.

By choosing to become better, you are committing to the harder path, the path with deep valleys and brush that needs clearing. The path where you think you have reached a mountain top, only to find it was really an ant hill, and more work lies ahead. Choosing to become better means trusting Christ to hear and heal you. It often involves a daily choice to forgive, heal, and work. Your flesh doesn’t necessarily forget the other’s offense, but you choose to no longer simmer, hold a grudge, or use the hurt as a weapon.

I am reminded of Psalms 40:1 because it illustrates the benefits of choosing to become better.

“I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me up out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; and set my feet on a rock. HE put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.”

What are you going through right now? Have you allowed bitterness to take root? Are you ready to work toward betterness? Are you ready for a path that is foundationally firm, but requires effort to clear and to climb?

Ask God to help you. Trust that on the road to betterness, He will go before you, be beside you, and has your back! Put on the armor daily (Ephesians 6) and be ready to fight the battle against bitterness and find victory in betterness!

 

For additional reading I suggest: When you have Been Wronged; Moving From Bitterness to Biblical Forgiveness by Erwin Lutzer.


Workshop:  Forgiveness

Join Bethany as she shares strategies to walking in forgiveness.
September 20th | 6:30pm-8:00pm
KGM Office – Details here


Early Registration Ends August 31st
Mother/Daughter Retreat – Grades 4th – 7th


Luncheons are back September 7th!


 

 

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