“When she speaks her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.” Proverbs 31:26

Remember the 90s book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus? I never read it, but one thing is clear—men and women communicate very differently.

As women, understanding how men are wired can help improve our relationships, especially with our husbands. One major difference? Conversation.

We love to talk—sharing details, telling stories, and connecting through words. Studies suggest women speak around 20,000 words a day, while men average about 7,000. 

So being a good companion to your husband doesn’t mean overwhelming him with conversation.

Here are a few key things to keep in mind when talking to your husband:

1. He’s not your girlfriend. Most men aren’t naturally chatty, so don’t expect deep, drawn-out discussions.
2. Men are fixers. If you just need to vent, tell him upfront: “I don’t need a solution, I just need to share.”
3. Give him a heads-up when changing topics. Saying “Pivoting…” or “New subject…” helps him follow along—unlike us, men don’t naturally jump between five conversations at once.
4. Land the plane. If he seems disengaged, he’s probably looking for the bottom line. Keep stories concise and save the details for your girlfriends.
5. Listen when he speaks. Put your phone down, make eye contact, and don’t interrupt. Thoughtful listening strengthens connection.
6. Silence is okay. If he’s not in a talkative mood, embrace the quiet instead of filling the space with chatter.

When we adjust our expectations and meet our husbands where they are, communication becomes smoother, and frustration fades. The goal isn’t to change how they communicate—but to understand and appreciate it.

Are you looking to deepen relationship with your husband? Check out Tara’s Marriage Book!