Do you still have on your big girl pants? Today’s post isn’t nearly as brutal as yesterday’s. Thank you for your comments by the way. (Many of you choose to contact me directly. That’s fine.)

Over the next two days, I’ll share 11 steps for resolving relational conflict in marriage. I’ve learned these steps from my friend and mentor Suzi. I have seen them at work in her life and I have practiced them in my own life. THIS BIBLE STUFF WORKS!

The first three steps are paramount for resolving conflict – they set the foundation.

Make it your goal to pursue an “abiding” relationship with Christ. The word “abide” means to: depend on; remain in; rest in; cling to; to focus on. It means Jesus becoming your center. It means pleasing Him becoming your passion. As you move toward this kind of relationship with Jesus, your thinking, your behavior, and your responses will gradually come under His control. I don’t know about you, but I need His control when I’m mad as fire!

Pray daily for your husband and your marriage. And if possible, pray together as a couple. This will bond you together like nothing else. Remember: prayer is time for God to change your thinking and line it up with His. It’s during prayer that God allows me to see things from my husband’s perspective – instead of being totally focused on my own agenda. It’s also during prayer that I receive my marching orders.

Example: “Be still and know that I am God;” “it is mine to avenge;” “those who wait on the Lord…”

Do you see? Prayer and Bible reading – connecting the dots to your issue is one of the ways God speaks to us.

Even one verse each day will help you stay on track in your thinking and behavior. This enables us to know God’s priorities; His expectations and even His commands. Until recently, (if you are a regular reader to this blog) we learned that making intimacy a priority is a command from God’s Word. When we know what His thoughts are, we will more than likely follow.

Don’t live independently of each other. Don’t lose sight of each other as you go about your daily activities. Make it a point to hug; to smile; to encourage each other in some way daily. Eat together whenever possible. Call him; text him; email him – be in touch with him at least once during the work day.

I hope these suggestions are practical and helpful. We’ll pick up with #5-11 tomorrow.

Before I move on to another marriage topic – (probably forgiveness) – Is there something on your heart that you would like for me to cover? I’d love to hear from you. You can leave a comment below or send me a personal note. I look forward to hearing from you!

Make it a great day!