“Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Psalm 90:12
Do you remember Charlie Brown’s teacher? She was never seen. Only heard. She made noise. But her words were never audible.
My kids often make me feel like Charlie Brown’s teacher.
Just yesterday, my 15 year old daughter told me, “Mom, stop with all the lessons – I get it. I know not to post a picture of myself in a bathing suit. I know to make good decisions.”
I’m telling you, no one can make you feel smaller and more insignificant then your teenage daughter. Praise God my identity is not based on what she thinks of me.
Parenting is harder then I ever imagined and getting harder. I have two years left before my oldest leaves for college. I seriously wake up at night wondering if I’m teaching him everything he needs to know. If I’m properly preparing him for the world outside of our home. And more importantly, to know and love the Lord, the most important thing we can do as parents.
Many days, I feel like a failure. My kids are past the age of mini-sermons. (Which they’ve heard plenty of.) So now, I really have to choose my words and moments carefully.
As I’ve cried out to God over my insecurities, He’s leading. Here are some of the ways:
- My quiet time is essential. It’s what makes me a wiser, kinder, peaceful, and more patient mom. He gives me ideas on ways to connect with them. Ideas that are not my own. He equips me to live the Word, not just preach it.
2. Live the Word – From everything I’ve read and learned from others, kids learn more from what they see, then what their parents say. Pounding truth into them, which is what I often want to do, is not effective. I have to be sincere and gentle. I have to love them. I have to keep lines of communication open. I have to pray for opportunities to say a word at the appropriate time.
3. Prayer – It’s the most important thing I can do. My problem is making sure I don’t allow complacency to set in and fail to pray.
I’ve started praying very specifically. I’ve asked God for a Word to pray for each… A promise from His Word that I can pray over them. Once a week, I cover them in prayer. But daily, they are lifted before the throne. Prayer is warfare. Prayer is powerful.
4. Reach out to other women – Specifically women who are older and wiser. Women who have lived through this season of parenting. I have a wonderful Mom, who, God bless her, survived me as a teenager. Older women have so much to offer. They have experience and wisdom; a perspective we simply do not have. A small community of Titus women is essential.
5. Speak their love language. I’m learning to be intentional about doing what they love to do – even when I have no interest. I’m also learning not just to listen, but to hear them. No easy thing for a busy, working Mom. Connection to the leadership of the Holy Spirit is vital. Hearing them and loving them is the gateway to their hearts. It’s ultimately an opportunity for my witness to be credible and my words to heard.
After all, I don’t want to be Charlie Brown’s teacher…
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Thank you Tara for todays devotion. When things are going good, I get complacent in my prayer for my teens, and then, out of no-where, it all goes haywire! Constant communication with Christ is the key to stability and being positive in how I respond to my teens! Thank you for the reminder.
Leasa
Leasa! so well said. And when things go haywire – I can take it back to my prayer time or lack of prayer. Prayer is so powerful. Thanks for commenting:)