Do Our Children Know They are Loved?

As you read the title, I’m sure your knee-jerk response is, “of course my children know they are loved.” But let me ask you, what kind of atmosphere have you created in your home? One of love and acceptance? Or indirectly one of criticism; fear; or of keeping a list of wrongs?

Right now in this season of my life, God is asking me to believe Him for big things. Unbelief is ever crouching at my door. So in my quiet time, the Lord is having me “look back” over the course of my life – to see His Presence and faithfulness even when I didn’t know He was there.

Now hang with me – I’m not veering from the parenting subject – I’m making a point.

One of the things I’ve learned is that I was 34 before I fully began to grasp how much God loves me. It was when I saw Isaiah 54:10 for the first time. “Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet My unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

In other words, no matter what you have done in your past Tara – though you have shaken the mountains and removed the hills with your sinful past, My love for you, will never be shaken or removed. I love you – I love you completely.

Now keep in mind, I’ve been in church all of my life; in Bible study for 10 years and a Bible study leader for 4 of those years. Yet it was at the age of 34, when I began to understand God’s unmovable, unshakable love for me – despite my messes along the way. And trust me, there are messes. Prior to this, I believed God was keeping a list of my mistakes and ready to bonk me on the head for everything I did wrong. But this is not the God of the Bible!

God has revealed to me over the last week that the only example of unconditional love modeled in my childhood, was the love my Mom and Dad demonstrated and continue to demonstrate to me – even during turbulent years.

God desires for us to model His love to our children. I say this ever so respectfully and reverently, but we are to model God to our children. How will our children ever love God and revere His Word unless they know how loved they are? I can truly testify, the only reason I love God right now at the age of 40, is because He first loved me – and He demonstrated it through my parents until I could understand His love.

Do not assume that gift buying, elaborate vacations or the mere fact that you provide food, shelter and play dates, or that you pay the college tuition or private school tuition, that these things articulate the words, “I love you.” Children need the tangible.

I just recently read George Bush’s book, Decision Points. (By the way, a great read!) But one of the things that struck a cord with me, was the out spoken and demonstrative ways his father, George H. W. Bush loved him. During his childhood and college years, when he made many mistakes, he never doubted his father’s unwaivering love. Even as President of the United States, Bush writes that receiving notes from his Dad during his presidency – encouraging him and telling him, “I love you,” carried him through many storms. Bush writes that to this day, his father still hugs him and tells him, “I love you, son.” (So precious!)

Do your children know they are loved? Loved unconditionally? Are you telling them? Do they know that they are accepted by you – despite the disappointments they may cause?

Even if it was not spoken to you as child, break the mold and tell your children on a regular basis that you love them. (No matter what their age.) Ask the Lord to show you ways to demonstrate His love to each of them personally.

It’ll pay dividends – more on this next week!