Melody Merritt, KGM Team Member

“A wise woman builds her house, but a foolish woman tears her house down with her own hands.”  Proverbs 14:1

Growing up I saw my mom model love, respect, and honor to my father as a husband.  My dad was of the generation that worked hard, provided for the family, yet was not demonstrative with words.  But I knew that he loved me and it was easy to honor him.

My parents also taught me the Ten Commandments from God’s Word.   The fourth commandant says, “Honor your father and your mother that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” Exodus 20:12.

After I got married and had children I wanted to teach them the same godly Christian values I had been taught.  My husband and I both wanted our daughters to know they were loved.  We showed them and told them all the time.    Celebrating Mother’s Day and Father’s Day was easy and fun!

All this changed when my husband left us.    My ex became an absentee father.   It was not always been easy to teach my daughters to honor their dad.  They questioned why they should honor him when he was not being the father he should be.

It’s a very fair question.

But the bottom line is that God’s Word tells us to honor our fathers.

Over the years, God has worked in my heart to forgive my ex-husband.  As God has transformed my heart, I have been able to pray for him and my attitude has changed.  This enabled me to talk to my daughters about honoring their dad and loving him even when he was not being the dad they wanted.    As we looked at God’s Word together,  they began to pray for God to help them to love and honor their father.

My daughters are now adults.   I recently asked my oldest about loving your father when it’s not easy.    Her advice:  to choose to believe God and to do what He says.   These Scriptures gave her strength and wisdom.

• To forgive him –  Ephesians 4:32
• To let go of any bitterness – Ephesians 4:22
• To pray for him –  1 Timothy 2:1
• To verbally respect and compliment him. Proverbs 15:1
• To see your dad the way God sees Him.  1 Peter 2:9-17

It is not always easy to honor our husbands even when there is not a divorce involved.  Our children learn from watching our actions and reactions.   Our decisions to respect, love and honor will significantly impact our children.  With that in mind, what are your children learning from you each day…

• Do you roll your eyes when your husband speaks?
• Do you go behind his back and do things he has asked you not to do?
• Are you putting your (ex) husband down in front of your children?

OR

• Do you praise his good decisions?
• Are you gracious when he makes bad decisions?
• Do you honor his authority in front of the kids, disagreeing with him only in private?
• Are you praying for your ex-husband and showing respect before your children?

Our children are watching.  When we show respect to their fathers, our children will respect them as well.

Summer Workshops to Grow your Faith Walk!

Conversations that have Impact, July 11

Establishing a Daily Quiet Time, July 27

Leading a Bible Study Group with Different Personalities, August 2

Growing in your Prayer Life through Journaling, August 3

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