Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
By: Angie Hathaway
If I could go back in time, I would do things a little differently with my girls. There were lots of times that I felt like I was learning on the fly. And I made A LOT of mistakes. Now that my daughters are adults, we can look back and laugh at some of those mistakes. Others, however, were more serious and required hard, heart-to-heart conversations to bring about healing. Ultimately, those tough discussions led to deeper bonds.
Looking back, I realize there were three areas that had a huge impact on my relationship with my girls. When I talk to parents today, I share these words of wisdom.
Don’t try to fix everything. While “Mama Bear” is cute on a t-shirt, in real life, that kind of behavior can become a hindrance to the emotional growth and maturity of our children. As our children get older, we must allow them to make age-appropriate decisions, while still offering any necessary guidance. That is how they build confidence. Some examples of this principle include:
- If your child needs to speak with a teacher, take time to have a “mock conversation” with them, offering tools to help navigate.
- When your child is experiencing conflict with a friend, instead of giving your solution, ask thought-provoking questions such as: “How do you think you should respond?” or “How does this situation make you feel?”. Providing a safe place to work through feelings increases the chances of a positive outcome and helps to strengthen the bond between you and your child.
It’s your business to know your child’s business. Yes, I can already see the eye rolls and hear the heated conversation that results from telling your child you need to do a technology audit or speak to a friend’s parents before a sleepover. After all, “no one else’s parents do these things!” Do them anyway.
I am here to tell you, it is our job to know who our children are hanging out with (both in-person and online) and what they are doing.
One practical way you can do this is to take advantage of the time when your child’s friends are at your house. Order a pizza or bake a fresh batch of cookies and pay attention to their conversations around the table. You will learn more than you ever wanted to know.
Model the behavior you want to see in your child. As our children get older, it’s easy to fall into the rhythm of being more of a friend than a parent. Remember morals are “caught not taught.” We always need to be mindful of such things as the clothes we wear, the content we consume, and our language. Our children are always watching and listening.
Motherhood is one of the greatest yet most challenging roles we will ever have. While we will never get it all right, we should keep in mind that God handpicked each of our children for us. What an honor it is to have the front-row seat in the lives of His children.
At KGM, we know that our relationships with our children are vital.
That is why we created the annual Mother Daughter Retreat.
THERE ARE ONLY 3 SPOTS LEFT! JOIN US!
October 28 – 30, 2022
FOR MOMS AND DAUGHTERS 6TH – 12TH GRADE
CAMP WILLOW SPRINGS – LAKE GASTON, NC
REGISTRATION CLOSES WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 26,2022
