Isaiah 30:18
Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore He will rise up to show you compassion.
Experiencing the pain of rejection can be emotionally crippling.
But when it’s your child, it’s different.
It’s worse.
As I sat on the edge of my son’s bed watching the tears fall from his face, I felt paralyzed to help him. He was asking questions I didn’t know how to answer. “Why didn’t I get invited to the sleepover? They’re all making hats and didn’t invite me. What do I say to them when I see them in two days? We’re supposed to travel together. Will I be the only one without a hat? What did I do wrong? These are my best friends.”
I silently prayed. I was in desperate need of wisdom. I asked the Holy Spirit to guide my words so that I could disciple his heart through the pain of rejection.
As we sat and cried together, I started to pray. We prayed for the friends. We prayed for his heart. We prayed over how he would face those friends – knowing he wasn’t invited into the “inner” circle.
Beautifully, miraculously and quietly, our Good Shepherd, the Great I Am who promises to draw near to those who draw near to Him (James 4:8), enveloped us with His peace that passes all understanding. We left our time together resolved, renewed and ready to face the upcoming days.
The following day I received an email from one of the moms of the boys. She said that they had made a hat for my son, “…so that he wouldn’t feel left out…”
A day later, I hesitantly put him in the car with his best friends as they headed out of town on an adventure together. Oh how I prayed while he was away. This was the first time my son had experienced rejection. And from personal experience, I understood the gut wrenching, self doubting, incessant questioning he was painfully navigating.
But while he was gone, something rose up in me.
Something new.
It was a desire to fight for the right response in the face of rejection. This battle seemed generational. My mom has experienced deep, wounding hurts from friends. Best friends. Even family members.
And now, rejection was trying to ensnare my child. These nagging emotions of rejection needed an Overcomer. So I pressed into the Word and anchored my mind to God’s truth. As I did, I felt like God rewarded me with promises of His faithfulness… And a mind that could be at peace. I also sensed a transformation taking place my wounded heart. Instead of open gaping wounds, the salve of His Word was bringing healing in my wounded heart.
Years later, those wounds are now scars. Scars that if I’m not careful, can reopen if I linger long enough on the rejection. But, because of God’s faithfulness and loving-kindness He has transformed the pain from serrated friendships into a testimony of His care.
He can do the same for you.
If you:
- struggle with the emotional roller coaster of rejection…
- live on the teeter totter of emotions that pull one way when included and the polar opposite when you’re left out…
- deal with the constant questioning deep in your soul of, “What did I do?”…
Then KNOW deep within your being, our Heavenly Father cares for you and longs to show you compassion. Pause and invite Him into your pain and grief. Wait patiently for Him to reveal His character to you. The very best place to start is to see His care for you is through the lens of His Word.
As for my son’s situation: The friendship with those best friends eventually grew apart. Yet they still remain friends to this day. By God’s grace, we can look back with fondness on the memories shared with this group of friends and thank the Lord for them. My son had no apparent wounds from his “uninvited” experience. It was infinitely more heart-wrenching, for his mama bear:)
Luncheon: Friday, November 21, 2016
Pre-Register by Wednesday, November 19th – HERE
Friendships can be hard – Longing to Belong
Speaker Dina Hester
Workshop:
Hospitality, Decorating and Cooking without Stress!
Interior Designer, Lisa Grimes
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