3 Reasons We “Can’t”

Ephesians 5:22

“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.”

Two weeks on submission? Really? I would never have planned this – only by the leading of the Holy Spirit have I spent so much time on it. Clearly, someone besides me needed these messages.

This week we’ve seen the FRUIT of a life lived in obedience to God’s marriage principles. Today, we’ll discuss our problem to submission. (Please know, I still battle this.) Tomorrow, I’ll share the solution.

According to Nancy, there are 3 reasons we do not want to accept our responsibility with submission.

Reason #1: We do not want our “nest” disturbed.
In other words, we do not want to cut back on the budget; we don’t like being told what to do, especially when we think we are right! We don’t want to stop teaching Sunday school or give up a ministry or give up what we think is something we rightfully deserve. Perhaps it’s girls’ night out our husband is asking us to cut back on.

But from Nancy’s story, we saw her husband having no regard for her feelings when they moved to Omaha. She lost her ministry, her nearness to her children, her close proximity to her Dad, her home, and all her friends. But notice that she refused the “woe is me” attitude when her husband moved them. The result: a sweeter and fruitful marriage, ministry, and, eventually, her husband’s salvation!

Reason #2: Women are generally controllers.
In Genesis 3, God said, “your desire will be for your husband.” Nancy says her interpretation of this is that a wife desires the rulership God gave man as a result of the fall. Most women want control!

Is this true of you? As of today, I can truly testify that God has delivered me from being the domineering controller I used to be. If it were not so detrimental to marriage, my past antics would almost be comical; perhaps I’ll share a few of those stories in future posts. But in the meantime, are you a control freak? Do you always have to have your way? Do you always have to have the last word? Do you always have to be “right?”

Reason #3: Our vocabulary is “I can’t” not “I won’t”.
When we change our vocabulary from a self preserving response of “I can’t” to saying, “No, I won’t obey God in this,” we have a whole new mindset. Remember, Scripture says that it is ultimately GOD we are serving and submitting to. (The “God clause” from last week – remember?) Act the way the Bible says is correct and your feelings will catch up to your actions.

Nancy goes on to say that a married woman’s first ministry is to her husband. Why in the world would such a woman be given other ministries if she negates His first? (Please know that we are not talking about men who request her to do immoral or illegal things, just everyday things that might annoy her.)
Tomorrow: The secret to success!

Author: Tara

  • I can't believe I am saying this but I have really enjoyed the posts on submission. I loved Nancy's story and well, I needed it. 🙂 Thank you. One thing that stuck out to me today was when you said a woman's first ministry should be to her husband… How true that is. I need to keep reminding myself of that. What a precious ministry Christ has given me right in my home with my husband and 4 kids.
    May God richly bless you and Nancy for your willingness to serve.

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