When you see a girlfriend or an acquaintance, how often does the greeting go as follows:
Friend:  “HI friend, how are you?”
You:  “Good – just BUSY.  How are you?”

This is the conversation used to be my life!

For many years, busyness, over commitment and unwise priority choices controlled my life.  Yet one day I woke up.  Though my life looked like many of my friends’ lives, the quality of my life had dissipated.   I had allowed the pace of a fast-paced, hectic, chaotic world spill into my life; into my marriage; into my family.

Though it may have looked fine on the outside, the quality of my life was yuck.

Over the last few years, God has shown me practical habits to keep the destructive patterns of the world at bay.  Over activity and busyness for any given period of time IS destructive.  Do not be fooled by the pattern of the world.

Over the next 2 posts,  I’ll share 5 habits that have changed my life.  These habits are simple yet will not become habitual by accident.  You will have to be intentional.  And be warned:  your friends may think you’re dissin’ them.  But you’re not!  You’re just reclaiming the quality of life Jesus purposes you to have.  (John 10:10)

Habit #1.  We must create margin in our schedules.

I’m a recovering addict of not giving myself enough margin in the day.  I’d tell someone I’d meet them only to be 10 minutes late because I’ve squeezed into an already full schedule that one last thing.

One more errand…
One more chore….

Not only did I squeeze in one more thing, I didn’t allow time for traffic.  Now I’m stressed out and my head’s spinning.  Never mind, arriving frazzled and frustrated.

This bad habit will steal the quality of your life.  Take control of your schedule.  Give yourself time.   Don’t stack one thing after another day in and day out.  Yes, some days will be busier than others.  But you must draw a line in the sand and give yourself wiggle room.  Tell yourself, “No more!”

During busy weeks, I take NO outside appointments other than my priority relationships.  Yes, I may offend some by not making myself available, but I can tell you this:  Relationships with my priorities are maintained and do not suffer during weeks of busyness because I’ve learned to give myself margin and I’ve learned to say NO!

Habit #2.  We must learn to say “NO!”

Sometimes I feel like the Queen of the land of  “No.”  But that is okay.  My marriage is good.  My relationships with my children are good.   My family relationships are good.  We aren’t barking at each other and running around like a bunch of crazy people.

Our days will become increasingly crazy if we over commit ourselves and our families.  Do you have your child playing in multiple sports or activities from season to season?  Never mind that you have multiple children doing multiple sports/activities in the same season.

Girlfriend, your marriage and your family WILL suffer if you choose to live this way.  AND IT IS A CHOICE.

Are they training for the Olympics?   Are they preparing to play professionally one day?   If not, stop the insanity.  It takes away from the quality of your priority relationships and ultimately your life.

If saying no is too hard for you, schedule the appointment several months out.

For example:  I’m getting ready to enter a busy season during the month of May.  If Sally Sue emails me and wants to have lunch or coffee, I have to determine if Sally Sue is a priority relationship.  If she’s not, she’s not getting scheduled.  I’ll most likely eventually schedule her, but it’ll be when my schedule opens back up in mid June. And that’s on a Thursday or a Friday.  (These are the days I’ve pre- determined I’ll schedule people.  Monday – Wednesday are typically busy work days.)

All of this may sound harsh, but think about it:  If say yes to Sally Sue – my job and priority relationships will suffer. I’ve said “yes” too much.  And when I do, life stinks.

Learn to say NO.

Next Week:  Habits 3 -5 to a Better Life

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